To have him beside you

Second week of placements are over and the last week begins!
I'm just praying time pass a lil faster so i can finally breathe.
Quite tired running around with a schedule like shietttss.
Anyways,i'm still alive so be happy! Or be sad,which ever suits you better =p
Christmas is coming and so is my 18th birthday..
Kinda weird,my first time celebrating it away from home and ppl i love.
A lot has been happening these days.
I really wanna share here,so you'd have to wait till this weekend!

The one thing that really had me thinking was, although most of these old people i'm taking care of has dementia or Alzheimers (basically means deteriorating loss of memory,slowly by slowly), they can still remember that one special person in their lives. Their husband/wife.
Oh my GOD i tell you.
This woman was sitting there and talking with her husband. Then he had to leave till his next visit few days later. After he went, i saw that she was silently crying.
I went over with tissues and ask what happened,in case it was pain or something.
She just look and me and answer " I don't know dear,but i feel something's out of place. Like something is missing."
I just wipe her tears away and squeeze her hand.
I went and do a few things then came back and check on her again.
Then she told me something that i wanted to burst out crying like on the spot.
She said "I know what's wrong dear. My husband went away."

OH MY GOD. I tell you. How can someone that cannot even remember something so simple like her own name remembered that she loved this man so much? You cannot help but feel like breaking down. OH. MY GGOSHHHHHH.

Cen Cu Nai Cha!

I'm back =) hehehe...
I'm actually on my placement you see,that's why i can't reli update..
Well,my first day (Monday) was a total mess because both senior carers in charge of me and Iveta was on off day. Had a friction blister the first day on the sole of my foot. OUCH.
Very tiring... my shift is like 8.00am to 4.30pm Mondays to Wednesdays..
Then on Thursday and Friday its 12.30 noon till 9.00pm...

Second day (Tuesday)was alright, we had a look on the care plans for our case study. Had to pick a resident to study their case. HANDLED a lot of poop.

Third day (Wednesday),i used a lot of lifter with Cheryl,my senior carer. Even had sing-along carolling with the residents.

Fourth day (Thursday) was actually a miracle because there was power shortage on our very first afternoon shift. We're lucky to have such things happen during our placement. It was dark except for a few emergency lights. Was outta electricity for about an hour,and worked extra 40 mins. Because Yenny was alone, me and Iveta actually had a corridor each and got to use a pager [we're still trainees so we don't normally have a pager]. I think it was that horrible thunderstorm that caused the outage. Christine babe,you're lucky yr nt here! The thunder here is extremely louder somehow. Michelle came along and helped because Iveta was giving us a lift since we missed the bus. Was rather nervous but still have to maintain composure and give comfort to residents. =)
we're a pretty lucky batch!

Fifth day (Friday)was POOP big time! Weather changes makes ppl's bowel movements go crazy. Everyone seems to have problem with pooping. Watery~~~~ ewwwwww. You have got to pity us for handling so many body fluids... =p Ran under the rain today all the way from Ananda to the Shell station to catch the bus. I think Michelle posted the pics dy,i'll go grab from her later.

Saturday was a rainy day. Last minute, we walked to Foodland to buy groceries. I actually planned to go to Harvey Norman in the city but the weather was kinda getting to me.

Sunday,which is today... As usual,went to church and did some walking around. Had beef noodles! =) Oh my gosh,feeling rather fat already. Hahaha...
We had two birthdays,Helen and Swen who both turned 18 this month...so HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I had some good news yesterday, heard that Terence's coming over! =)
Yay,can't wait till you get here ^^
You'll be my neighbour all over again...

My first subway here!

Have you ever seen someone carry watermelon like this on the bus? hahaha... that will be me ^^

McD =D

Beef noodles!

Crazily hungry~

And my honey with pearls!

Can't believe there's shops here selling cen cu nai cha!

Tomorrow will be Monday, and i'll be starting second week of placements.

Ohhhhhhh my gosh. I hope i don't get sick.

And hey my dear,if you're reading this; i love you =)

I reli miss hearing that.

Hohoho!

=D
I'm sorry for not updating like in a long time!
I promise i'll do it these few days.. glad to say i have lots of pictures and stuff going on that i can talk about.. Hehe..

But...

The main point i wanna talk about is, can you forgive a past mistake that was done to you on purpose? I was just surfing my friends' pictures on facebook and i saw someone whom i completely forgotten her existance. As usual, the memories came flooding back. You said you were my fren and all that. But you still hurt me. With words and acts. That was three years ago.
I tried to forget and forgive. And guess what, when i looked at her pictures... i felt absolutely nothing. NOTHING.

Why?

Because i forgiven her. The past doesn't matter anymore. Mistakes are done and the trust is now gone. I'm sorry but i hope i'll never meet you again. You caused enough pain for me and i never wish to cross paths with you again. And i'm sorry,we can't just be friends like that again. Because i had a taste of being friends with you and it wasn't a nice one. So, lets just leave things the way it is.
We're better off not knowing each other. I really have to tell you this because i feel that its how we should be. I'm really sorry.

Ps: wait for my updates peeps! =)

A Great Big Hug

I am so tiredddd. Its been a terribly long week!
I have pictures but i'll skip them today. Just wait for the weekends.
I'm starting my clinical placements for 3 weeks starting next Monday at Ananda.
Lucky its only Monday to Friday,because if you take Saturday and Sunday away...
you'll get a pretty insane Geraldine.

A lot of things happened this week. Hmmmm where do i start?
I guess i'll skip the rest for today.
Because i just wanted to say something to him..random thought in my mind...
My other half has been in quite a sad position,someone really dear to him passed away.
I'm really sorry to hear about that. I just feel kinda bad that i'm not there to be with him.
I can't do anything but be with him spiritually. It sucks to be so far away at the wrong time.
I reli hope you're doing alright. *lots of hugs*
I'm sorry i'm not by your side..
I'm sorry that i can't wipe your tears [i doubt u cried much,i know you're strong]
But most of all i'm sorry that i can't give you a biggggggg hug.

You stay strong dear,i know you can.
If you can break the metal cup holder off the cinema's chair last year,[OOPPPS. I SPILLED YOUR SECRET =p] i know you surely will get up and continue again.
I love you with all my heart =)

Bits and Pieces

Another new month's in the house! One just flew by,another comes.
I wonder when will the day come where i can take a deep breath?
My head's in a mess.
Anyway,after hectic hectic hectic week...
Saturday we went to shopping!
Went to Ikea and Habourtown.
Ooops Chua's missing. He sat in front to check out the hot chicks.
=p
Just kidding,there's just not enough room to squeeze him in.
Guess where we went after that?
YES. The beach!
Glenelg's the name. And oh my gosh,we weren't dressed for it.
It was a totally spontaneous trip since we were already on the way.
Which explains why u'll find a group of ppl wearing jeans to the beach.
Its seriously forbidden to wear jeans at aussie beaches,alright? =p especially when the sun's so nice... Do not ever follow us ^^
Me and Michelle ^^

I love this photo,but my mouth was opened. Gaaaahhhh.

I wonder who snapped this. Its nice,and candid. If you wonder why aussie sun's so deadly hot,its because sometimes there's not even a thread of cloud in the sky!

Me and Caroline =)

They decided to bully me. U see,so pity.

Helen, Kong and me.

There's actually a plane in the air and we were supposed to SOS the plane.

I did an individual jump shot but not niceeeeee,cuz i jumped too low.

So group pic replaces it..hehe..

Finally saw u Chua,so pity. He became the camera man.

That's basically the pictures for Saturday.

Heeeee,if u want more u can check it out on facebook after i uploaded it..

Not now though,during the weekends =)

So much is running through my mind at the moment.

I think i maybe having moodswings.

Its either that or i'm too tired. Because i feel like crying again.

And that's not really healthy i guess.

I just wish that he was here so i can blurt out everything.

I appreciate u sending that email so i know. And yes,i reli do miss you a lot.

hmmmm,i hope that i am as happy as i look in the pictures above~

But things just take a toll on me these these few days.

I kinda forgot what i wanted to type here earlier on.

I do think my auntie flow's on the way,which explains the sudden mood change.

But because i know you're all dying to know what life is here,i'll write another post =)
After all,life continues on and i just have to pick up the bits and pieces.

And my dear,take care of yourself.

Be strong and keep holding on.

I love you. Remember that.. =)

Hey peeps!!
I'm going to update these few days so don't fret when u keep coming to my page and seeing nothing new... =p
I promise you this.. hehe..
Ps: i miss you ^^ very much...

Andddddd iiiiii...will always....

Thursday, 22 October

Going to Ananda again tomorrow for Friday placements. Every Friday’s such a pain because I have to convince myself over and over again. Sometimes I would like to give myself a good shake and scream at myself. That’s a good idea, don’t u think so? I’m surprised how time manages to flies when u need more time. And when u really want time to past fast, it annoys you by passing ever so slowly.

Our temporary door sign ^^

Had a bruise on my wrist...


Friday, 23 October

I am super tired!
I need to SLEEP.
I am talking crap.
Not making any logical sense.
I just want to drop on the bed and SLEEP. =)
I admit it, I’m a pig. ^^

Saturday, 24 October

Went to Marino beach today. Err, actually I’m not so sure how to spell the name. Someone said its Brighton, another said Marina. Well, lets just leave the name part at that. I don’t care about the name =p We took a train via Adelaide Railway Station and…
Thing is, I went to the beach and had fun for a while. We went the wrong way at first…then it started to drizzle. But finally got the right way and played away. The water was so colddddddddddddd!

Ate dinner at Hungry Jacks. I’m full! I’m still rather tired after sleeping until quite late this morning. Really lacking sleep…

Someone really close to me and my family will be going back to Indonesia tomorrow. Nearly 16 years of being part of my family. I’ll miss you, Kak Yati. I’ll miss chatting with you after church every Sunday. Every party you’ll cook something really nice which makes me drool. Every time I overnight at Sonia’s house, you’ll feed me full with drinks and snacks. You picked the stones out from my knee when I injured myself pretty badly. I grew up knowing you and it’s sad that you have to go home. Its been 16 long years, Kak.
Sorry I’m not there for your farewell party tonight. But I had a great conference call and webcamming with you all during the party. But as the saying goes…

Far the distance, close at heart. =) Take care of yourself, Kak.
I’ll visit you when I go back for the holidays.

A happy koala! =p

Ohhhh mummy i miss you!

And my bro too,in the black shirt...

And daddy... =)

Brought lots of junk food so i have sugarrrrrrrrr when i need it.

Blue's missing,so use my pendrive. Hehe..

Gummy kisses!

I have this song stuck in my head at the moment...

Whitney Houston-I Will Always Love You.

Yessssss,that very old song...

I just don't know why but it's rewinding in my head.... Probably because the song says what i wanna say.

I will always love you.

I wish i can hear it said to me everyday.

Missing You!

Just some random photo from today =)
Yerrrr,i think i got some kind of motor neurone problem,my hand keep shaking when taking this pic..
Just a little update here to say that i'm alright and still alive...
Though a bit annoyed by my laptop. Its acting weird lately..
Stupid hard disk problem. I hate it when technology fails you,its just frustrating.
Hahaha..

Happy 19th October =)

Haaaaa! How many people are guilty of not remembering my face? =p
Nahhh,since i'm so nice i shall put a picture of me on Friday at Ananda doing my Friday worksite practicals..well,actually i was in the toilet when i took this. Can't take pictures in Ananda itself as its a healthcare facilty.
No no no no NOOOO,my hair isn't blond. Its the lighting =)
Its still dark chocolate the way it was before i left..
So many new things to learn,things i never imagine i will learn.. Did u noe shit/poop/faeces has 8 types? [if i remembered correctly] And i actually showered someone besides myself. ==
Anddddddd... today's a special day for me ^^
Its.....an anniversary of mine and my significant other half =)
First date,hehe..
And to celebrate [myself and friends],i ate...
THIS =D
Domino's pizza! I gave 2 slices away to Helen and Kong and ate the rest.. this is what's left, 4 pieces. We were waiting for the delivery like waiting for boyfriends,and when the "boyfriend" (the pizza) finally came,we ran out screaming like little girls.
My "boyfriend" name was Cheese and Michelle didn't knew her "boyfriend" name because it was ordered by someone else. Turns out the name is Hawaii. [SWEAT]
These remaining pizza shall be my breakfast,ohh yeah~ [I'll eat your share for you,dear =p]
Anyways,Happy 19th October!
Don't busy yrself so much and lose more hair,i still wanna comb for you,you know.
Take care and miss youuuuuu.
And of course,i love you too. =)


ps: Class tomorrow. Hahahahaha,i wanna continue sleeping and skip class but i can't. aawwwhhhh,nevermind. My body's in class and my soul's in bed. Ehhh,cannot..... gt test tomorrow!!! =(

Silent Tears...

Last Saturday, i got to spend some time out with Ivan, Esther and Carina.
Feels so good to be able to see some greenian people =)
Even got to know a new friend too,which is Carina. Sat at a coffeeshop and talked for 4 and a half hours,after that went to dinner. They're havin exams soon,so good luck guys!
Sunday, as usual i went to church. St Francis Xavier,Adelaide. Had to walk there as trams still under construction. Not that far though, about 10-15 minutes walk from Rundle Mall.

Met up with a friend of mine, Cindy, and she gave me this as a welcoming present. Awww,thanks =) I don't know what to use it for yet,a bit too nice to hang stuff on it >.< We then slept at the library.. Well, me actually... she was doing her research and i was zzzz-ing away next to her and her friend. Her exams are coming soon too,so all the best girl!

Got a can of drinking chocolate for myself too ^^

I know i'll surely get murdered if i keep drinking cold things as somebody will surely kill me.

[Yes,i mean u... Uncle Sky =p]

Its amazing how days pass and makes you feel so small.

I honestly do feel homesick at the moment, again.

My heart just keeps aching and i don't know how to fix it.

I can't help but keep thinking and missing and dreaming.

It gets pretty emotional at times and i really do feel like crying.

Even when i'm typing this post, i feel it.

Things just get pretty tough when you're alone. I'm not used to this.

Comfort has always been around me when i was back in Msia,but here, the only place for me to let go is my room. In front of my laptop,under my blankets, muffled by my pillow.....

The silent tears fall.

I cannot explain further and you surely can't know truely unless yr far away from home too.

So here's to those that are away from home to study/work, we deserve a pat on the back.

And i just realised that i owe Uncle Sky a lot of pictures which are still in my camera and phone!

Oh no.... . . . . =p

Its tough but i'm gonna hold on and be strong. As someone i loved so much told me when i was at KLIA waiting for my plane, "Try to be tough girl you can do it! Believe yourself." Those were his exact words and i'm sure he won't remember that he ever said that to me. But those words kept me from falling. Especially when it came from someone that means the whole world to me.

I love you, and always will.